On the rerun of 30 Rock that aired last night (Season 4, Episode 21), Tracy Morgan's character, Tracy Jordan, visited his childhood home and was flooded with repressed childhood memories. It's essentially a list of some of the best "we were so poor" jokes ever written. Tracy's delivery, of course, made them all the more funny.
As transcribed by Everything Tracy Jordan Said:
It’s all coming back to me, oh my God.
I slept on an old dog bed stuffed with wigs.
I watched a prostitute stab a clown.
Our basketball hoop was a rib cage! A RIB CAGE!!!
Why did you bring me here? I blocked all this stuff out for a reason. Oh, Lord. Some guy with dreads electrocuted my fish!
All my life I’ve tried to forget the things I’ve seen. a crackhead breast-feeding a rat, a homeless man cooking a Hot Pocket on a third rail of the G train! The G train, Nermal!
I’ve seen a blind guy bite a police horse.
A puppy committed suicide after he saw our bathroom.
I once bit into a burrito and there was a child’s shoe in it.
I’ve seen a hooker eat a tire.
A pack of wild dogs took over and successfully ran a Wendy’s.
The sewer people stole my skateboard.
The projects I lived in were named after Zachary Taylor, generally considered to be one of the worst presidents of all time.
I once saw a baby give another baby a tattoo! They were very drunk!